It has been four months since I started working abroad. September 4, 2006, I had my first flight. That time I was so furious and excited to see what this place is all about.  I felt something very common to us when going to new places, and that was it, nothing more than that.

The place was so clean. People here is so disciplined that no one is spitting, chewing bubble-gums, and throwing trash anywhere. They say this place is the FINEST. Some say the reason why it’s the finest ’cause every wrong act you pay FINE for it. But I say, whatever, as long as it is effective.

This country was nothing like my own country; it’s so different that I forgot the beauty of the place of my own nativity. I have a huge room; I have seen tidy streets, and quiet people. For four months I see the same stuff everyday.

I went back to our country after four months. I felt again the excitement that I felt when I went to this place. But it felt like something more than excitement, can’t wait to see my room, the streets, the people, my friends, and most especially my family.

When I set my first few steps in the ground at the airport, I said to my self, “At last, I am home again.” For four months, I have waited for that day. Yes it was only four months but it felt like years!

I stayed there for two weeks; I have seen my small room, the crowded streets, the loud people, my friends, and my family.

For that short span of time, I never had a good sleep. I wanted to spend time with all the things that I have missed.

Then the time came that I have to go back, go back. The feeling was really aggravating. I felt sad, lonely, nervous, stressed out,  I felt pain in my back, my throat hurts, and a lot more things that I can’t explain. I thought I was dyin’!

I never want to feel that mixed emotions that I had again! I kept on asking myself why am I feeling this way. I told myself, I’ll be back soon, so what’s the big deal!

I will go back to Philippines! That I am so sure! I will settle there. I’ll stay there for good! I’ll go back when I had enough….

But when it is enough?